Why am I writing a blog?

Honestly, aren’t there enough Mom blogs out there? Isn’t there already such a multitude of overwhelming information circulating the internet? Of course there is. And this is just my little slice of it.
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I don’t consider myself to be a particularly good writer. My grammar isn’t perfect. My vocabulary isn’t impressive. So please proceed with caution! But back in the day, I was known to write a book or two. We’re talkin’ elementary school library status with my buddies (whattup Emily and Carrie). I majored in Nursing and went in to healthcare of course. While this career path has been an amazing opportunity in my life, it certainly is not a career with a whole lot of room for creativity with the written word.

​It wasn’t until after I had my son that I began to feel an itch to write. I tried to ignore it, but nevertheless, it persists. There were so many emotions and experiences (more on that later) surrounding pregnancy, birth and new motherhood that I felt like this type of outlet would be beneficial for my mental health (and cheaper than therapy). I began to follow all sorts of mom bloggers on Instagram, perusing the posts and stories at all hours for threads of real motherhood to hang on to. Somewhere between midnight feedings, determined to find a way not to lose my mind or my wit, I began hearing songs. Songs of my childhood. No, not “Ring Around The Rosie” or anything of the sort. I am talking early 2000s hip hop and pop tunes that flooded my ears as I hung out with friends, partied in high school and college and made lasting memories. Fast forward to 2019, and I am hearing “errbody in the club gettin’ tipsy” whenever my son would get that milk-drunk look (you know that I mean). I started to post these on Instagram, and after awhile, I had many people reaching out telling me how entertaining they were. I also decided to make an IG account for my son. Yes, I know it is ridiculous. And I know that there are serious concerns about posting your child’s photos online. But to me, sharing the world through my son’s eyes and voice was both humorous and therapeutic for me. It also gave me a chance to regularly (but not too regularly) share day-to-day moments with family and friends from afar. I soon realized that the Instagram posting wasn’t quite satisfying the creative spirit I was feeling. Words seemed to flow through my mind constantly, but like most new moms, I could barely formulate sentences or come up with words in conversation. It is only now, 8 months into motherhood, that I feel like I am able to devote a little brainspace to this… and that some people might read it and relate!

Embracing new motherhood... one app, meme and glass of wine at a time.

So… what’s with the name? I perseverated a bit on this, and finally decided on KindaMom. I see it as having multiple meanings to me. In more posts to come, I will discuss how my transition into pregnancy and motherhood was not at all glowing or glamorous. In fact, it’s something I carry quite a bit of shame over. And in a world where balance seems to be the ultimate goal, I am feeling like I am only “kinda” a mom. I’m working to embrace it in all of its glory, but hey, I’m new to this! There is so much to learn. Along with only feeling like “kinda” a mom, I am also feeling like “kinda” a wife, “kinda” a sister, friend, daughter, co-worker, neighbor, and so on. I am immersed in the feeling that I am “kinda” failing in all aspects of life while simply trying to stay afloat. I can only give little pieces of myself to each category and have not learned to finesse the art of balance at this point in my motherhood journey. I have not been able to fully immerse myself in this new role. Being a mother has always been something that I aspired to be (and many of my family and friends can attest to that!). Yet here I am, with the best little boy in the world, and I am struggling with the “mom”  identity. I know that I am not alone in that, and I don’t want any other moms to feel alone either.

Another meaning I see to the blog name is the word “kind”. It is a simple word, and Merriam Webster would tell you that it can be both noun and adjective. Some definitions are: “a group united by common traits or interests” (n) and “of a sympathetic or helpful nature” (adj). The trusty Dictionary.com offers some even more helpful definitions: “of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person” and “indulgent, considerate, or helpful; humane”. In essence, these are all traits that moms should be. They are also traits that I feel all humans should be, to an extent at least. And in a world where there is so much negativity, competing perspectives and insecurity, I’d like to see us all just be KIND to one another.
Thanks for hanging in there with me while I stumble through my first few words. I hope I can bring some knowledge, humor and comfort to your journey with parenthood.